moving forward vs. moving on

*sigh*

You know those days when you have to make really hard decisions?

I can't say that today was one of them, but today reminded me that those days are soon coming.

Leaving friends behind to (hopefully) better yourself and better them is not an easy thing to do.

My brother related to me this weekend that he and his girlfriend, who had seemingly been doing very well, at least ostensibly, broke up over the weekend last weekend. He said that he just didn't have the desire or the need for her anymore.

Another "New York Minute"* passes on....everything can change, no matter how good everything seems.

I keep telling myself that I'm getting out of the house soon enough. I keep telling myself that once I'm out of the house "everything can change", another New York Minute..but as good as that sounds to me, at least in the perspective that I'd be independent once again, it also reminds me that I'll have to leave the wonderful people that I've met while I've lived at home behind. Oh how I wish I could bring them with me. They are all great people. Ryan, Sierra, Erinn, Chris T., Evan, Fred, the whole gang. I mean I won't be out of contact, but as things get further apart, they tend to get further out of mind, not by want, or even necessity, but just because. Sometimes I know how close I am to finding a job elsewhere. Sometimes I just put it out of my head because I've got to focus on the things in front of me that need to be taken care of.

I just want to make it clear to everyone listed above, and even those who I've incidentally forgotten to mention, that I very much regret having to part ways. Everything that we've done will be remembered with reverence and be put into the good annals of fun and be remembered always as one of the better parts of my life, no matter the circumstances. Being introduced into things that I would have never done myself without your influence, the directions and the ways that the knowledge and conversations that we've shared will always be remembered, and I leave this as the best thank you that I could possibly give. I hate saying thank you and then saying goodbye. It's such an angering mix of emotions. I want to say that we'll always keep in touch, and never lose what was once there, but those would be promises that I couldn't necessarily keep.


*see don henley - new york minute (something that I remember from my childhood..a song that gave me much perspective when I was a teenager.)